This morning I noticed that I was mentioned on a list of Hellenic Polytheist blogs here on wordpress, and was appalled at my own lack of H.P. content. That was supposed to be the focus of this blog! I suppose I’m reluctant to share my views and interact with any kind of polytheist community, but that’s my own damage and I’m trying to get over it. In an attempt to do so, here is probably the first, most introductory post I should have made.
My name is Helena, one I adopted for myself to serve, among other things, as a reminder to be the torch that burns for the Theoi in the world. I am a devotee of Apollon, Zeus, and the Lady Aphrodite, but above all it is the Queen Hera who, as I like to put it in prayer, “owns my life”. I feel I have always belonged to Her, long before I could clearly hear Her call. Even as a child I could be heard telling my friends, “if the Greek gods were real, Hera would be mine,” to the point that, in a time overflowing in Percy Jackson, this was a known thing about me- as much a part of my identifying personality as the fact that my favorite color was Her royal purple. I was raised without a religion by my parents with my mother’s attitude of distaste towards all things spiritual, but remember saying and writing things like “if anyone is real, it’s the Greek gods”.
Despite not having a household religion, I always felt called to spirituality and spent the ages of about 11-16 grasping for anything I could. I tried Christianity, Buddhism, learned about Hinduism and Wicca and Catholicism, reaching for any rope that would hold me and building the foundations for my now semi-adult love of Theology as a study. To put a long story short, one day when I was on what I perceived as the precipice of adulthood (even though I’m really only barely getting there now, about 4 years later), I gave up. I remembered all those things I said as a child, how much love I had in my heart for this Queen whose story always called to me, this being called Hera who I felt like I needed to defend from judgment and ridicule not even knowing whether She was real or not, and realized that She, and all the Greek Gods I had adored since childhood, were as viable an option as anyone else. I grabbed anything purple and shiny and peacock I could find, threw together something like an altar, and threw myself at Her feet. If You’re real, You can have me. I’ll give you and the rest of the gods everything. I just need to know. And I can honestly say, from that moment to this one and through my life, that’s pretty much what’s happened.
So for this reason and countless others I say, for me, it begins and will end with Hera. This Queen of Women who reigns eternal, it is She who inspires me to love and support other women, to have the courage to look past my abuse and say that does not have to ruin any strong female figure that comes into my realm for me, to take back the voice that has been taken from me and learn what at times I think may be Hera’s most important lesson: “I will accept nothing less than the respect I deserve” and to do so with the grace of a devotee of the Queen of Heaven.
Ω Your Hostess, Lena