I’ve been experiencing quite a bit of acceleration in my life as of late. I’m not surprised, this tends to happen about this time every year. Whether for better or worse, whatever path I’m currently on always seems to speed up to 100 at Midsummer. Just before my birthday, as fate & the gods would have it!
My career is taking off. I seriously cannot believe I’ve been working at the school for 6 months now, that it’s been so long, but on the other side of the same coin, I cannot believe it’s been a mere 6 months since discovering myself. I went into it all more in detail in my last post, but I’ve been completely awoken by working with these children with special needs. I’m happier than I ever dreamed possible in a traditional career, I know what I want to study & when I want to go back to school, and I’m finally somewhere I can start trying to climb the ladder.
My boyfriend and I have been living together for over a year, but lately we’ve made the decision to try to room with some friends in an attempt to save money. The cost of living in San Diego is not low. While he’s transferring to SDSU in the fall and right after we had just made that decision, our friends dropped us a line out of the blue asking if we were still looking for friends to room with. Acceleration.
A couple of days ago, we took a tour of an apartment on the list, and on returning home, I was heartbroken. Utterly and completely devastated. I had no idea why. With one hand clutching a door frame and the other pressed flat against a wall, I realized that I was heartbroken to say goodbye to the Daimon of this place. We have experienced a lot of heartache within these four walls, much of which was my doing, but we’ve experienced a whole lot of growth and love here as well. The truth of our selves has seeped into these walls, and as any Renter/Tenant knows, it’s hard to leave that behind. I thought of my parents and can only imagine how difficult it must have been to leave the apartment you lived in when your first and last child was born. But my parents took me from a small apartment by the beach to a home in the suburbs, and I know the gods were with us then. Zeus himself gave us this apartment in the first place. And I know that He would never tell us to leave it if it wasn’t time.
As all of these thoughts came crashing down upon me, I threw up my hands in prayer. I am in awe of my Theoi, of the Gods of Everything. Every so often They remind me that everything falls under Them: The good parts of life as well as the bad. Everything glorious we see, every moment of beauty & art, goodness and heroism in the world is under one of the Theoi or another, but so is every thrust of pain and mortal sadness.
There is no good or evil in Hellenic Polytheism because all is right, all is necessary to the way we experience life in this world, and so everything is the domain of the gods. Even the gods who, through historical misunderstanding, judgement, and straight Ret-Con have been viewed as “evil” are the gods of Cycles, Time, Death, Reaping, Sowing, Fighting, Anger, Rage, and the unstoppable Turning of the Wheel.
I throw up my hands in Awe & Reverence to the beloved Theoi, givers of good and deliverers of Fate. I rest assured that I am held in Their hands, the hands of the Father, my Heavenly Mother, and all the rest of the gods I have dedicated my life in service to. Through the lulls and accelerations, the ups and downs of life, I walk on Their path. It all belongs to Them.
Source: Callimachus, Hymns 1-3; Theoi.com